Why Self Compassion?

{WHY SELF-COMPASSION?} // For as often as we make reference to Self-Compassion , I know it can seem like a nebulous, fluffy concept- like, “yeah yeah be nice to myself more often”, but what are we actually DOING when we practice self compassion?

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Self- Compassion is set of teachable, learnable skills and techniques accessible to anyone that will, with practice as you would take up any new skill, change the chemistry of your brain. It’s the most effective and efficient tool that neurocognitive scientists have for restructuring the neural pathways of the brain after trauma or repairing the chemicals changes brought on by depression or anxiety, and the most robust and consistent findings in research are that self compassion is a major protective factor against anxiety and depression!

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In short, self compassion is the recognition that no matter what is happening in our lives, **we are innately worthy, lovable and connected to all of humanity**, and is comprised of three core components:

▵ Self-Kindness: That we are gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental

▵ Recognition of our Common Humanity; feeling connected with others, rather than feeling isolated or alienated in our suffering

▵ Mindfulness: that we observe our experiences in balanced awareness

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So, in essence, what are we doing?

▵ Naming your feelings (through mindfulness- developing awareness to witness your process)

▵ Creating space to feel your feelings

▵ Reframe negative feelings/thoughts

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One of the simplest ways to practice this in a moment of distress or upset is to just start with *noticing* and acknowledging that you’re in pain, then creating a bit of space to feel the pain and remind yourself that it’s okay to do so. Kristin Neff, who literally wrote the book on Self-Compassion, encourages creating your own self compassion mantra to use in the heat of the moment, or when you need a little self-kindness boost. An example might be, “I’m hurting in this moment…everyone feels this way sometimes. It’s safe to feel this way, and I’m still worthy of love”.

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What would your mantra be?

↠ We teach others how we want to be treated ↞

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We teach them through how we value ourselves, how we speak about ourselves, how we carry and support ourselves.

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We teach them through how we protect and advocate for ourselves, and through the way in which we create and communicate our boundaries.

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From us, others learn what we will, and will not, tolerate. They learn about how much space we take up, about our place in the world and in our work environments and in our families, and our right to belong anywhere and everywhere.

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What are you communicating about your worth, your wisdom, your capabilities? How are you showing the world you would like to be treated, considered, respected?

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Does what you are teaching align with what you desire, deserve and demand?